Adult Shopping and information

I was standing naked in front of the mirror in my bathroom a little while ago, as you do, and thought to myself that my penis doesn’t look as nice (big) as others I have seen (in adult movies). I have read articles about Penis enlargement surgery, and decided that surgery was out of the question, I am no coward, but I fail to see why I would inflict unnecessary pain upon myself and run the risk of causing irreparable damage to my best friend. At the time he may not have been as big as I would like but he is the only one I have, so I have to love him and look after him. Now this is not a subject that one discusses with his mates down at the pub, the wife says that it’s big enough for her and others say that its not the size that matters but how you use it, but you know that they are just trying to make you feel less inadequate, I know that size is a matter of perception, but sometimes a good sex life is a matter of what is in your mind and what your self esteem level is. I pondered this dilemma, and came to the decision that I will make a visit to my local Love Shop, to see if there were any products that would help me (in my mind) be the man that I wanted to be.

Once I entered the Love Shop, it seemed that no subject was taboo, everything was out in the open, and on display, it was clean and well lit, and the lady who served me wasn’t judgemental in any way, so I felt comfortable enough to ask questions that I thought were pertinent, and would help me make a decision as to whether or not and what I would purchase.

 The sales assistant told me that I could try some creams etc. but she would recommend using a Penis Pump. I wanted to know about the differing sizes of these penis pumps, because there were pumps that ranged from 20cm in length to the john holmes (oh my god) Personal Pump, that’s not really its name but I think that women must have said “oh my god” when they saw john holmes in all his glory in The Adventures of Supercock. Anyway back to the primary issue, what size pump, I chose a more conservative sized pump, thinking that the size of the pump would reflect the size that I eventually wanted to achieve, one that won’t scare any prospects away, and a size that would be achievable if the pump actually did work, given the material that the pump would have to work with (my penis at its current size).

 Did it work, you betchya, with patience and perseverance anything can be achieved, even a bigger penis. Now my wife, who used to say “is that all you can do”, complains if I don’t take my time and get her ready, she says that sometimes I am too big for her, and I know all men would like to be told that. I am happier and more confident in my performance in bed and out of it, people say it doesn’t matter how big it is as long as it makes you happy, but let me tell you, I am a lot happier now. I am no john holmes but it is about 4cms longer and a lot thicker, it doesn’t seem like a lot but it has made a big difference to me.

 Some dos and don’ts,

 DO always use a lubricant.

Once I was too lazy to go down to the Love Shop to replace my used up tube of lube. I used the pump without it, believe me you don’t want to do this, as I previously said I quake at the thought of surgery, and using my pump without lubricant caused me some temporary heart flutters, it got stuck for what seemed like hours but was probably only a few minutes but when you have the prospect of losing your best friend going through your mind it will seem like hours. My most positive thought at the time was that I would require surgery to extract my penis from the Personal Pump.

Do go to the Love Shop, its not sleazy, the staff are friendly, and will make you feel welcome.

 DON’T use cooking oil.

Once again too lazy to go to the Love Shop and after the non-lubricated episode, I thought that I would use cooking oil, too slippery, it dripped down onto my testicles and the result was that they were sucked into the pump as well. A more painful experience I have not had since I got my foreskin caught in my zipper.

Don’t be shy to go to the Love Shop to find out about a Penis Pump or any other product; we would all like to have a bigger penis and a better sex life.

 The problem I have now is that my penis to me is like money, how much is enough, bigger has become better, or as Michael Douglas said in a movie “greed is good”. I am going to go to the Love Shop and buy the john holmes (oh my god) Personal Pump, because I want people to say “oh my god”. Imagine standing at the urinal at the footy and the bloke next to you looks down at you, as they do, as says out loud for all to hear “OH MY GOD”. How good would that feel?

 

This article was written for Love Shop and can be used free of charge for your website as long as you keep this signature in tack.


Last Modified: January 8th, 2008
Filed under: Penis Pumps
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